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Shinso really, really regretted opening his fat mouth at times. First time he did was during elementary when he explained his quirk’s ability to his classmates. No one would come near him for two month after that.
Now he had to live with being an ‘essential’ part of 1-C’s haunted mansion maze, being a bloody corpse hanging from a ceiling. And anyone that came across him like this treated him like a villain while running in fear … hurray traumatic triggers.
At least the last group he scared deserved it. Apparently they were complaining about how the school ‘cracked down’ on them for making sexy costumes. Yeah he didn’t feel bad at all about that one, added the whole neck motion for flair as well.
Well he might enjoy it more if his head wasn’t filled with blood. Eraser Head may have trained him to run along walls but not to stay on them upside down. He would probably have to keep his mouth shut about it though, say anything and the man would probably leave him dangling upside down over a cliff.
A small silver lining he could find was practicing being in the shadows, sneaking up on people when they least expect, like the current group right now. He let himself go and showed off his bloody glory. “Ahhhhhhh!” Oh sh*t, they had a little girl with them. That was probably a bit much. Wait who brings a four year old into a haunted-
“ZOMBIE!” His scare was ment with a punch with the face that sent him flying into-through a wall. He waited until his ears stopped ringing before getting up.
“Nice to see again, Suzuki.” He muttered without even looking at the perpetrator. The punches were memorable enough when you lose the Sports Festival to them. On the plus side, he was right side up again.
“Oh, sorry Shinso! I would’ve dodged usually, but Rabbit-Sama taught me how to use instinct to attack people sneaking up on me.” The kid still had that innocent look in his eyes. “It’s alright Eri, he’s not a corpse, so he’s not going to hurt you.”
“Well dead people don’t usually get up when they die.” The girl said with a tone that was too even. “I was just surprised. So this is one of your friends, Wolfman?”
“Yep, this is Shinso. How’ve you been?” Suzuki asked with the damned innocent smile of his that made it impossible to get mad over the fact he launched you through a room.
“At the moment, I'm sore and a little dizzy.” He rolled his eyes. “Your homeroom teacher is a madman when it comes to training. I’m barely able to keep my breath.”
“Yeah, he can be ruff. But he’s really nice when you get to know him. He’s been taking care of Eri too.” The boy smiled, holding up the little girl in question. “He’s helping her with her power and I’m helping her learn to smile again.”
“I make wolfman happy! I’m a hero too!” Damn it, that innocence was quadrobled with both of them together. It was almost blinding to see all at once. “It was nice to meet you, Zombieman!” Wait, that better not be his nickname.
“Yeah, nice to meet you too.” He said with a small smile. It was always a treat to meet someone that didn’t instantly try to run from him, especially someone so young. “I’ll see you around soon.” Apparently Suzuki’s birthday was coming up, and he got an invite, probably the first invite he’s ever gotten.
That and the joint training nearing gave him butterflies in his stomach. He would take every advantage he could get. After all, he could end up in 1-A if everything went well. Might as well get to know his potential classmates.
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“Do you know what Kyoka wanted to talk about?” Denki asked Momo as they were left in the empty hall they used for the show.
“No, she just said she wanted to talk to us in private.” His girl replied as they stood in place, shoulder to shoulder. “You think it had anything to do with the song?” She thought aloud. “Making people smile?”
“Hey, it’s what Bunny-sensei keeps telling us to do, and he was number one for years.” He gave a light chuckle. “I thought it was amazing, and she wrote it by herself too. That and teaching me guitar, girl’s really talented.”
“Yeah, she is.” Momo looked away, and seeing the discomfort, he hugged her.
“Cheer up, you're the one for me. Perfect the way you are.”
“Am I?” She shrugged. “My..figure hasn’t been the same in weeks.” She cupped his face. “Would you like me even if I’m a blob?”
“That’s just more to love.” She giggled. “What, it wasn’t that bad.”
“No, it was. So cheesy. I don’t think First Love Memories get that cheesy.” Her laughter meant it was working either way.
“Well that’s what you get with the power of internet memes and having no dating experience.” He added on, laughing himself.
“Yeah, you can be funny on occasion.” They both turned around, and Kyoka was there. “Sorry for sneaking up, I didn’t know the right time to butt in.”
“No problem, you’re the one that called us here after all.” Momo nodded. “Now what’s this about?”
Kyoka’s face started going red. “Ugh, I ..I needed to talk to you two in private, because what I need to say is too embarrassing to say in front of anyone else.” She twirled her earphones in her fingers. “Last thing I want people to think about me is being another Mineta or Toru.”
“Why would they think that?” Denki asked with a tilted head. That was a pretty high bar, either peep or stalk.
“The thing is … I maybe … sort of … have a crush … on both of you.” Kyoka responded, waiting for an answer he likely could never give. Mostly because he was crashing.
Denki Kaminari. EXE has blue screened due to a logic failure. Reboot required. Please stand by. Loading memes.
“Denki, Denki!” He felt Momo shake him, but his body refused to respond to his brain. “Snap out of it, don’t leave me alone!”
“I knew it, I knew this was stupid!” Kyoka tried to hide herself in her arms.
“I um, just, eh, I.” Come on brain, make something, anything! “How can two girls have a crush on me?” Okay, clearly the reboot didn’t make it fully functional, more work required.
“You’re sweet, you always try to lighten the mood in a bad situation, you make me laugh..” Kyoka listed off. “And when you dedicate yourself to improving, you can surprise me in ways I didn’t expect…”
“Yeah, that’s essentially how I feel.” Momo agreed. “Though I’m confused on how you feel about me in this…situation. Exactly when…?”
“Sometime around the forest … you were really cool back then.” Jiro admitted. “And you all just kept improving and … ugh this was stupid.”
“No, that's me.” Denki responded without thinking as his brain still sparked. In fact he was pretty sure he was sparking at this point. This was why he wore rubber on the first few hang outs. “I…I’m not sure how things…work with…” He turned to Momo.
“I’m lost too. I’m…flattered… but…I don’t have any experience involving any of this…” She waved generally. “I mean there was that fivesome in chapter 169 but that involved fifteen different genders.” Yeah, not his cup of tea.
“Can…can we not…just…I needed to get that off my chest and this year has really, really sucked.” Kyoka groaned. “I want to forget about all of this, but I couldn’t let it go unsaid and..”
“Hey, hey, it’s fine, it’s fine.” Denki tried to reassure. “We won't tell anybody about it, it’ll just stay between us.”
“Y-yes, just between us.” Momo repeated with a red face. “We won’t tell a soul, no need to worry.”
“Okay good … wow that feels relieving.” She smiled brightly at them and waved. “Enjoy the festival.” She began skipping out and leaving the couple in an awkward silence.
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Ibara felt proud of today. She did well as a graceful spirit of the ring, Monoma cried tears of joy from having his play called ‘original’, and Kendo got third in the Beauty Pagent. The only thing that could make this day better was spending the rest of the festivities in the presence of her angel.
“Hey Ibara!” Her prayers were answered in record time. She turned around to see the kind face of Iruma. “Great to see you.”
“It is nice to see you as well Iruma.” She noticed the lack of someone from last time. “Where’s the Eri girl you were with just moments ago?” She asked.
“Oh, Mirio wanted to spend some time with her, so they’re hanging out with candy apples Sato made for the class. She eats them just like I eat everything.” That sounded like an adorably terrifying scene. “You did great in the play! I wish I got to see more of you.”
Restrain yourself. Physical intimacy had to be limited for the moment. “I wish the same with you in your class’s song. A very uplifting message must have been told with your performance. Did you by chance carry a recording for others to watch on their own time?”
“Hm, I think MC shout guy and Jiro’s parents are making copies as we speak. I was just glad it made Eri happy.” Iruma laughed. “It made her smile again after she forgot how.” The laughter got a little more hollow. “It…it wasn’t easy to do.”
“Many noble endeavors often aren’t.” She nodded. “The hardest efforts often have the biggest rewards however.”
“I know. I…I think I understand what you meant by having a path to follow now.” She leaned in curiously. “Before the show started, I had to make a choice to let someone do something that would’ve hurt people, but would’ve helped others too. I…I hated stopping them, because I knew what they were feeling, but seeing Eri smile, it makes me not regret it.”
“The right choices are rarely easy choices.” She placed a hand on his shoulder. “You may not like being a hero now, but trust me when I say I know you’re a good person, Iruma. Someone I can trust to make the right choice.”
“Thank you Ibara.” He smiled before looking around. “What should we do now? I rarely get to enjoy these places, it’s usually work.”
“A shame that I shall rectify.” She turned her head, looking for something she and her angel could do together. Something that would keep them close together but wouldn’t be assumed lustrous. Something caught her eye that seemed both intimate and innocent. “Let’s take a photo to commemorate this day. You can never have too many memories.”
“Sounds great! I know I’d want to remember today forever.” They walked towards the booth, and it was just them…alone…in a quiet solitude box where almost anything could happen. Nothing could ruin this.
“Hey there you two, room for more?” Why god? We were having such a good thing going on here. Her Karma hadn’t taken a hit recently has it? “We’d love to join in!” The whor*-Hagakure jumped in, getting between her and her angel!
“Sure, the more the merrier!” It moved her heart that her angel was such a kind soul, but it was really messing up the mood!
“Everyone go silly!” Uraraka slipped in, sticking out her tongue as she got next to Iruma.
“Wait, how did you sneak up on me!?” Hagakure shouted, trying to shove them.
“I can float, I don’t make noise in the air!” The girl's grubby hands were training her angel's grace!
“I believe I can capture my best side right here!” She used her vines to scoot the girls away as much as she could, scooting up to Iruma’s shoulder once more.
“No, the lighting would work better if I’m right here!” Hagakure layed her body across them, putting her head right on her angel’s lap. “Perfect.”
“Oops, clumsy me.” Uraraka made the invisible harlot float. “Much better.” Her head was planted right into Iruma’s neck.
“So…many….seducers!” All she wanted was a little innocent intimacy with Iruma! The most she would’ve gone for was hand holding, maybe, maybe an appreciative kiss on the cheek, but these whor*s were taking it too far!
“Wow, the pictures came out great!” Every girl paused their fight, slowly turning to the boy looking over a pile of photos. “We’re all really silly and crazy, it’s just like our class.”
The girls in question blinked, turning to each other before turning back. “Glad you see it that way.” Ibara smiled. The innocence of her angel hasn’t been taken, the worst sin of all.
“You know, I think I saw the support department work on bumper carts. Let’s head there together, Iruma-kun!” The whor* grabbed Iruma before any of them could protest.
That just left her with the other seducer. “Wanna team up to see if we can knock just Toru out of her car?”
“Gladly.”
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The investigator sighed, looking over his paper once more. “Your name is Danjuro Tobita, correct?”
“I am Gentle Criminal, yes.” He could feel his eye twitch already. The eccentric types always made it the hardest.
“And your partner in crime in the next room is Manami Abia.”
“A hostage that I forced to record all my crimes.” The man rectified.
“Oh really? Because from what she’s been telling us, she seems one hundred percent complacent with all that she’s done.” He rolled his eyes. “It’s easy to tell when a victim is brainwashed, so we know everything has been done of her own free will.” It had nothing on the case Tshcunuchi was working on.
“... What has she been telling you exactly?” The man’s own eyes twitched.
“Mainly how dedicated and in love she is with you. I can see that it’s somewhat reciprocated.” He observed. “Going by past crimes, you went out of your way to remove evidence specifically linking to her involvement.”
“She merely follows me as I go about my business. You can’t charge us equally for my actions.” The man spoke, before muttering something under his breath. “Regardless, I take claim to full responsibility and the punishments that follow.”
“Well, then you chose a great day to turn yourself in.” Tobita raised his eyebrow. “I’ve read your file, including your first offense. One accident, and it sent you on a path where recording your ‘crimes’ seemed like your only option. The thing is, second chances do come around, but only to those that choose to take it.”
“... I think I'd like to take it.” The man spoke, a few tears running down his cheeks.
“Then you should be happy to know someone’s paid your and Abia’s bail.”
The man tilted his head in confusion. “I never knew Kettei was rich.”
“Not quite.” He turned his head as the famous principal walked in. “Care for some Hellsgray?”
“...Yes…” The man wept from his seat. “Thank you.”
=====================================================================
“Behold, a baby that will change your lives!” Hatsumei shouted. “A long range magnetic stretchy claw, never needing to reach for anything again.” She demonstrated by using it to grab an engine, car keys, and a couch as she began to juggle them. “This thing is fifty percent off if you also buy the charger for it.” She gestured to the car battery next to her.
“Hm, it does seem very useful..” Yes, it was hooking them in! “How effective is it on capture though?”
“Quiet easily, let me demonstrate!” She zoomed in her eyes looking for the perfect vict-... Volunteer, for her showcase. After finding the boy she extended and grabbed him, pulling them straight to her. “Behold, a kid with super speed was caught in a breeze!” She shouted, holding him high in the air.
“YOU MADWOMAN! YOU SWORE I WOULDN’T BE APART OF YOUR DEMONSTRATIONS AGAIN!” Legs did his usual arm attractive arm waving. He was really dedicated to acting like a robot, something that only drew her to him even more.
“I did, but this is a showcase. Completely different.” She smiled. “So, does anyone want to pre order? I can even throw in this electric bola.” Hatsumei presented the weapon. “It spreads an electric charge into the air that latches onto incoming targets, guaranteeing it’ll never miss it’s mark!” She released the speedy guy. “Run like the wind, Legs! A moving target better illustrates my point.” And she fired.
“Wait sto-” He was hit head on, sparks flying before he hit the ground, smoking.
“Seems … a little overkill.” One man commented. “Aren’t heroes supposed to taken in live targets?”
“He’s still alive.” The boy groaned from his smoking crater. “It’s all set to stun.”
“Hm, it is a bit much…but not any worse than most starting pros.” Another man nodded. “You should’ve seen the lawsuits Endeavor had to face when he started. So many charred buildings.” Yeah, she was well aware of the overkill a few top rank heroes could bring. “I’ll take five, as a start-up.”
“Thank you for your patronage!” Sweet, her first official baby buying! “Thank you legs, it’s like you’re my good like charm! We gotta start hanging out more often!”
“No, no, no!” Legs struggled to get out from his crater. “There’s absolutely nothing you can say that’ll get me to spend a second longer with you!”
“I know how to make your legs go faster by upping the quality of your fuel intake.” Simple really, just look for other sources of citric acid that didn’t come from orange juice and make the right combos.
“.....This is a trial basis only.” Yes, now to get to work. She should start with her interrogation device before he gets too tired.
=====================================================================
“I need a restraining order.” The boy muttered, finally fixing himself up from his latest nightmare. “So, before we get to business, I believe I should inquire if everyone had fun today.” That was the main point of a festival after all.
“Oh yeah, it was a super manly time!” Kirishima cheered with his usual mantra of describing everything’s masculinity. “I was so close to dominating that obstacle course!”
“You were close to nothing, sh*tty hair.” Bakugo corrected. “You were eating my dust when I reached the buzzer. Then the Lizard girl cheated by floating her hand to it. Didn’t even move the rest of her body from the starting line, the smartass.”
“I feel you cheated too for flying through it..” Kirishima deadpanned, receiving a glare.
“I got to see Eri smile from my cooking, so i’m good.” Sato grinned. “Even if she did have Iruma levels of appetite.”
“Why do you think he’s latched onto her? It’s like a wolf looking after it’s pup.” Asui explained. “Adorably frightening. It terrifies me just how much they have in common trauma wise.”
“Adorably frightening describes a lot of things in Iruma’s life.” Ochako stated. “We had fun as well, hanging out with games and celebrations, and spent a while with Nejire to congratulate her.”
“Yeah, I feel amazing.” Jiro said with a wide smile that is not found on her expression. “It’s like I have this massive weight off my chest, and I feel like I can do anything.” She sat between Yaoyorozu and Kaminari, her right arm on the former’s shoulder and her left leg crossed with the latter’s.
“Anything….?” Yaoyorzou and Kaminari said at the same time with blushes on their faces.
“Too much light …” Tokoyami whined.
“I swear if one more sparkly person comes into our lives I'm gonna rampage, you hear me!? Rampage!” Dark Shadow shouted in what sounded like annoyance.
“Everythings coming up, 1-A!” Hagakure cheered. “My personal project is almost done. It’ll be complete just in time for Iruma-kun’s birthday!”
Aha, now they could get on to the pressing matter at hand. “So then, we have one week.” He slapped the board with his teacher’s ruler. “Let’s get to the business of the majority vote named, operation ‘Party Planner’.”
“Remind me why I give a sh*t?” Bakugo asked crasly.
“Because Kirishima said you couldn’t throw a birthday party.” Sero helpfully added in.
“...I’m going to throw that f*cker Dodger the best damn party ever.” It seems the ‘Bakusquad’ knew how to properly motivate their explosive leader.
“Yeah, this is going to be a tricky one.” Ashido looked over the chart. “Getting presents for him is easy, he practically owns nothing at all, but this is also the first birthday he’s ever celebrated, it’s gotta be special.”
“Hence why we have this multi step plan.” He clicked the projector, showing ‘phase 1’. “Distraction. Todoroki, Uraraka, Hagakure, and Mineta will keep Iruma away from any room designated ‘work area’. These are where we are working on the initial decorations, gift wrapping stations, and cake making kitchen.”
“Which will be handled by Rikido if that wasn’t obvious.” Yaoyorozu nodded to the baking student. “I’ve collected enough ingredients to feed the entire UA facility, so that should be enough for Iruma and the rest of us, plus Shinso and Shiozaki.”
“So what exactly am I doing?” The gen ed student asked them.
“Phase 2.” Once more Iida clicked the projector. “You will go shopping with Suzuki for supplies for Eri while the rest of us set the party.”
“Why me? And why can’t he go by himself?” The boy questioned with confusion.
“After careful consideration I confirmed you are the only student here no one would have a complaint with that’s not vital to party set up.” The girls would fight, Todoroki had no sense of child needs, Bakugo was Bakugo. “Eri is scheduled to come back within a week, so Iruma will be too occupied with that to suspect you of anything.”
“Plus Iruma, and I don’t joke about this when I say it, is a freaking villain magnet.” Mineta groaned. “Anytime he’s by himself, a villain will definitely appear. We’re lucky half the time he’s able to just talk to them, because he also finds a way to get along with them for some insane reason.”
“Suddenly things make a whole lot of sense.” The general ed student accepted the mad reality. “Alright, I'm his ward then. If that’s all I'll be off. Aizawa-sensei is training me to kick your asses.” The boy walked out, leaving them in silence.
“... I may have been wrong about Iruma and All Might …” Todoroki spoke quietly. “But he’s definitely got to be a secret love child of Aizawa.” Why was he like this?
“Objection.” Ashido spoke, hopefully bringing sanity. “Aizawa would have to be with a woman to have a love child.” He was horribly wrong.
“Doesn’t he try to run away from ms joke whenever she tries to flirt with him?”
“....This may have more merit than I thought.” Ashido thought out loud.
“We’re getting off track.” Iida hit the board. “Phase 3 of Operation Party Planners.” He showed a list of supplies and activities. “Mainly theme and presentation.”
“Nothing hero based, that’s still a sore topic with Iruma-kun at the moment.” Hagakure sighed. “So, what do we have to avoid that’s on his trigger list?” Iida slid the slide down … and down … and down … “Right, too much.”
“Oh, how about a karaoke dance party!” Ashido suggested. “It’s the first thing we did as a class together.”
“You mean the first event you said please to.” Jiro butted in, instantly deflating the girl. “But maybe music isn’t such a bad idea … I could dj.”
“That doesn’t really fix the theme.” Uraraka tilted her head. “What if we make it child themed? Like a little kid on his first birthday?”
“That makes sense, but what would a kid want?” Ojiro asked. “At that age, you pretty much ask for everything…”
“Everything…huh..” Hagakure snapped her fingers. “Guys, I got it! He’s basically a kid who had nothing before right?” Everyone nodded. “So why don’t we make it a royalty theme? He comes back to UA, enters the dorms, and gets crowned a king of his very own castle!”
“I believe Iruma told me of a medieval themed dream he had once a while back.” Todoroki thought aloud. “Yes, that does seem fitting.”
“I’m not taking orders from Dodger of all people.” Bakugo growled out.
“Oh, are you giving up the beeeest birthday ever declaration?” Kaminari smirked.
“... I don’t know how and when I'm going to kill you … and neither will you.” Iida will choose to comment on that another day.
“Now then, let’s work for Suzuki’s sake.” Iida adjusted his glasses. “Which requires us keeping it as secret so we can surprise-”
The boy in question chose to walk in at the very moment. Sero, thinking fast, tapped the projector and tossed it out the window. “Was it a bad movie?” At times, his friend’s obliviousness could entail fortunate results.
